How Do I Fix Myself: A Simple Self-Transformation Guide

Article last updated on January 9, 2022

When you think like you need to fix yourself, you’ll automatically think that you are broken.

So, if you want to fix yourself, you must stop blaming others and yourself. Stop complaining about everything. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Are you busy or effective?
If your revenue is growing at a snail's pace it's time for a reality check.
Are you busy or effective?
If your revenue is growing at a snail's pace it's time for a reality check.

Instead, you need to find positive energy within you. This is the only way to make progress.

It doesn’t matter who you blame, as long as you keep having false beliefs, you will never get better.

You need to believe in yourself and act accordingly. You need to take action and change your life.

That’s the only way to fix yourself.

This blog post will show you how to fix yourself and you can use this as a mini-guide to transform yourself.

Start With Self Awareness

Self-awareness is the key to fixing yourself. You need to be aware of what you are doing wrong and how to change it.

I have written quite a lot about self awareness. To better understand it, I have divided it into external and internal self awareness.

But all in all, if you don’t know where you are going wrong, you will not know how to get there.

If you’re feeling lost and not happy with your life, you must take a step back to analyze what has led up to this point.

Take some time to reflect on why you feel like you’re in the state you are in.

What is it that’s making you feel so low?

By being aware of what’s going on, you’ll be able to determine how to fix the problem—and make yourself happy again.

Understand your feelings

You may have noticed that your moods change throughout the day. For instance, you might start off feeling good but then, later on, feel sad or angry.

It’s normal to experience different emotions at different times, but it doesn’t mean anything bad happens.

For example, if you’re having a stressful conversation with someone, you might feel anxious. If you’re hanging out with friends, you might feel more relaxed.

The same goes for positive emotions too. Sometimes you might feel happy because you’ve got a lot of things going on in your life. Other times, you might feel satisfied simply because you’re doing something fun.

Understanding your feelings helps you know where they come from.

It also gives you an idea of what you should do to feel better.

Expressing or sharing your feelings

Talking about your feelings can help you understand them. By sharing your thoughts and feelings with others, you’ll get a chance to see if they resonate with you.

Talking about your emotions can also help you figure out what’s causing them.

For example, if you’re feeling stressed, you could talk to someone about it. This person could give you advice on how to deal with stress.

Another option would be to write down your feelings. Writing about your emotions can help you clarify them.

Writing can be useful to remember certain aspects of your emotions.

For example, if you’re struggling with anger, you could keep a journal to remind yourself of the reasons behind your anger.

Notice when you sabotage yourself

You might not realize it, but you’re sabotaging yourself, especially when you are looking to fix yourself.

So how do you notice when you’re sabotaging yourself? Well, one way is to take note of how you feel when certain tasks or projects don’t go well for you.

  • When something doesn’t turn out right, does your heart sink?
  • Does everything seem harder than usual?
  • Are things somehow more complicated then they need to be?

These are all signs that point towards sabotage from yourself.

If you think you are struggling with this, you can check out this course on stopping self sabotage.

If you don’t have this problem, then move on to the next thing and that is noticing what you are doing well right now aka your momentum.

Continue Existing Momentum

One of the most effective methods to get yourself out of a funk is to focus on what you are doing well.

When you do this, your mind will see that everything is okay.

The power of momentum

Momentum is a powerful force.

It’s why people who play sports often say that practice makes perfect.

This means that by practicing something repeatedly, you’ll become better at it.

For example, if you’ve been trying to lose weight, you may have noticed that after several weeks of working out, you’re starting to look slimmer. You may even feel like you have more energy now.

Now, imagine that you had started exercising only once before. How much progress would you have made? Probably very little.

But if you kept up the same level of exercise every day, week after week, month after month, year after year, you’d eventually reach your goal.

Momentum works.

If you’re stuck in a rut, you can use this principle to help you change your life.

Ways to keep the momentum going

There are many ways to build momentum. Here are some ideas:

  1. Make small changes. Instead of thinking about big changes, consider making small ones. This helps you avoid getting overwhelmed.
  2. Focus on what you have. Rather than focusing on what you don’t have, think about what you do have. What are you grateful for? What are you proud of? What are you good at?
  3. Take action. Take action whenever you feel like giving up. Even though you might not always succeed, just knowing that you tried is enough motivation to keep moving forward
  4. Keep track. Keep track of your successes and failures. Write them down.
  5. Tell someone else. Tell someone else about your goals and ask them to support you.
  6. Be patient. Patience is essential to success. If you want to achieve something, stick with it.
  7. Lookback. Look back on past accomplishments. They may inspire you to move forward.

Why is it important to continue existing momentum

There are two parts to your brain. One part controls emotions and feelings, and the other part controls actions and behavior.

These two parts of the brain communicate constantly. And they influence each other.

So when one part says, “I’m tired,” the other part responds by saying, “Go to sleep.”

When one part thinks, “I’m hungry,” the other part says, “Eat!”

The problem is that these two parts often disagree.

So sometimes, when we try to control our emotions or behaviour, we have the opposite effect.

For example, you may crave them more when you try to stop eating unhealthy foods.

Or, when you try to get rid of negative thoughts, you may start thinking about them even more.

This is why it’s important to keep the momentum going.

Because if you don’t, you’ll lose sight of your goals. And as soon as you lose sight of your goals, you lose hope. And without hope, you’ll never be able to accomplish anything.

This creates stagnation and stagnation leads to entropy.

Create a New Momentum

When you want to fix yourself, you would need to fix areas of your life that you are not your “strong” areas.

I have developed a system that will help you create momentum for something new easily, and I call it the Momentum Method.

Creating momentum takes practice. But once you’ve mastered this method, you can use it anytime you want.

It works because it combines three powerful methods:

  1. Notice your existing momentum
  2. Notice your attitude towards existing momentum
  3. Apply to your new momentum

There are no complications. Just follow these three steps.

Notice your existing momentum

There’s a reason why I’ve mentioned to pay attention to your current momentum.

We often neglect what we are doing well and think it is just a normal thing.

But no, YOU know how to do it. Think for a second if everyone else knows how to things that you know.

You’ll realize that most people don’t. That’s why you should pay attention to your existing momentum.

You see, when you notice your existing momentum, it helps you focus on what you are doing right.

And when you do that, you increase your chances of succeeding in whatever you are trying to do.

Notice your attitude towards existing momentum

Now, there’s another reason why I told you to pay attention to your existing momentum.

Once you notice your existing momentum and feel good about it, you automatically become motivated.

That’s why you should always remember to take notice of your existing momentum first before you start working on something new.

Attitude determines your actions.

You can use the same “success” attitude for existing momentum and re-apply it to something new.

It is an antidote to victim mentality.

Apply to your new momentum

Finally, by understanding what we can do, we can apply ourselves to our new momentum.

Our ability to do something is not limited to our knowledge and attitude.

That is how you will generate new momentum and new change.

One new change is a vote for your unique identity and the ultimate solution to fixing yourself.

Protect Yourself

Be radically compassionate towards yourself.

I am saying this because even when you are moving in the right direction and fixing yourself, you’ll notice that you’ll try to bring yourself down.

Once you feel like something is missing, it’s important to take care of yourself.

To do that, you’ll need to support yourself in the best way possible by taking care of your mental and physical health.

Things to stop doing if you want to fix yourself

You can stop doing certain things if you want to fix yourself.

Some are a little more difficult the others, but all of them will help you in the long run.

  1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
    Some people might compare themselves to others, but this should not have any room in your life.

    Comparing yourself to others will only cause negativity and depression because it’s impossible to live up to someone else’s standard. This is a vicious cycle that will only bring you down further, so it’s best to avoid comparisons altogether.

  2. Stop negative self-talk.
    Negative self-talk is one of the biggest reasons people fail at their goals. If you are constantly talking negatively about yourself, it’s time to stop. You must learn to love yourself as much as you love your friends or family members.
  3. Stop thinking too much.
    Thinking too much is a huge problem for many people. It causes them to lose touch with reality, and they get stuck in a loop of thinking. It’s okay to think sometimes, but you shouldn’t get lost in your thoughts all day.

    When you feel too much, you’re probably not focusing enough on what you’re doing. So, stop thinking about everything and focus on what you are currently doing.

  4. Stop allowing an emotional reaction to control you.
    Emotional reactions are simply emotions that come from within us. However, some people let these emotions control them, and they make bad decisions.
    Instead of letting emotions control you, you should learn to deal with them.
  5. Stop being afraid of failure.
    Failure is inevitable. You will face losses no matter who you are or where you go. But, instead of fearing failure, you should embrace it. Learn to accept defeat and move forward.
  6. Stop trying to please everyone. You should never try to please everyone. Trying to please everyone will only make you unhappy. There will always be people who don’t like you, and there will always be people jealous of you. Just remember that you are here to serve yourself first and foremost.
  7. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
    If you feel sorry for yourself, you won’t fix yourself. Don’t waste your energy being sorry for yourself. It would be best if you used your power to improve yourself.
  8. Stop lying to yourself.
    Lying to yourself is another reason why people fail at their goals. Lying to yourself makes you believe lies. Once you start believing lies, it becomes harder to break those beliefs.
  9. Stop negative self-concept.
    Your self-concept is how you see yourself. Your self-concept determines how you act and react in different situations.

    It also affects your relationships with others, including family members, friends, teachers, bosses, and co-workers.

    If your self-concept has a problem or flaw, it can affect how you think about yourself and behave towards other people. If you have a poor self-concept, you may feel like an outsider or be afraid of being rejected by others.

  10. Stop expecting perfection.
    Perfection doesn’t exist. Even if you achieve something great, it will still leave room for improvement. So, instead of expecting perfection, you should expect progress.


Fixing yourself is usually just a self-imposed problem. In most cases, the question “How do I fix myself?” should be changed to “How do I improve certain areas of my life?” From there, we can pinpoint exactly what action steps we can take and build momentum.

The Momentum Method refers to:

  1. Notice your existing momentum
  2. Notice your attitude towards existing momentum
  3. Apply to your new momentum

The only thing left to do is to protect yourself from false beliefs and continue taking action toward improving (or if you want to say, fixing) yourself.

Marko Matijasevic

Marko is performance-based growth strategist, focusing on business growth while maintaining a strong emphasis on authenticity in every individual he works with.