How To Learn More About Yourself

Article last updated on August 16, 2021

Watch the video version of this article.

I can confidently say that one of the most difficult questions in my life was “What do I really want to do?”

When I’ve found out what I wanted to do, I thought “Finally I know what to do!” but I have then I just discover new aspects of myself.

Are you busy or effective?
If your revenue is growing at a snail's pace it's time for a reality check.
Are you busy or effective?
If your revenue is growing at a snail's pace it's time for a reality check.

New qualities.

New strengths.

New weaknesses.

New possibilities.

And that means now I need to “recalibrate” my definition to learn more about myself.

Learn about yourself

Definitely internal and external self awareness play a role here, but what I want to say with this is…

If you don’t have enough information about yourself yet, then ask yourself:

  • What are my values?
  • What makes me tick?
  • Why did I choose this path?
  • How do I define success?

These kinds of questions help you gain insight into who you are.

Asking questions helps you see yourself clearly, but remember that this is an ever evolving process in which you are learning about yourself more and more overtime.

Once this has been done, the person can finally start looking at what needs improvement: To understand something better why not take an outside perspective and try looking at it with fresh eyes.

A healthy understanding will help develop a new perspective and a better perception of self.

This is how I look at my life – in this fashion, as if I were a curious child examining myself from the outside while trying to understand people around me.

I am not an extremely emotional person but when I see someone who seems constant in their emotion, I wonder what it would be like to live in their head – what do they feel? How are they different from me? Am I missing out on some sort of feeling that this person can always keep with them that I cannot?

It can be difficult to answer the question “How to learn more about yourself?”, even if you know exactly what you want from your life but don’t know how.

This is a simple question but many people struggle to answer it.

You might be able to give an answer that you believe someone wants, but it will still disappoint someone.

It’s quite a paradox, right?

Because you haven’t given yourself permission to be honest with yourself, you aren’t being truthful with yourself. Not a fun feeling.

This question will not be answered confidently unless you take the time to begin to answer it systematically.

How do you start with something so broad like “learning about yourself?” It doesn’t need to be difficult, no matter how complex the topic.

This post will help you to discover yourself and the importance of lifestyle design if you feel lost.

Start With Ownership

There are many reasons people desire to change their lives.

Like me, you might feel motivated to get rid of procrastination, avoid doing things that you know you need to do, be financially independent, spend more time with your family, travel more and focus on your passions or reduce stress.

No matter what your motivation, the first step to transforming your life is making your work, work for you.

Understanding yourself is the first step to understanding how you want to work.

People try to model their lifestyles after others. This seems totally backward to me.

Not a good fit

Lifestyle design should be about you and your unique needs, not trying to copy someone online.

You will be better equipped to create a lifestyle that is truly yours.

You need to get to know yourself first, especially if you’re thinking of working for yourself.

I cannot tell you how many entrepreneurs start businesses to have more freedom but then end up miserable because their business is not in line with their work needs.

Your life is vast and complex. There is so much to learn.

These are the “subjects” that I believe are essential to help you design a life that is more fulfilling.

These topics really aren’t relevant if you’re not willing to learn about yourself, your needs and how they will affect whoever helps you do anything in life: including the people who work for or with you.

Your “Why”

Why do you work, other than for the money? Why do you choose to do the work that you do, out of all the possible options?

You must know your “Why” if you want your life to revolve around the work that you love. Your purpose. Your purpose is what motivates you every day.

If you’re not sure what you want, ask yourself: “Why don’t you want to do the job I’m doing right here?” What aspects of your work do you like? What is your reason?

I have developed a habit of asking “why” about everything I do or think about doing. This has been one of my most successful and easiest ways to be productive.

This simple question stops me from rushing, so I can take a minute to ensure my decision is in line with my goals and needs. It has saved me so much time, energy, and anxiety.

When you know your “Why”, all your actions and decisions will flow from it.

This will allow you to create your ideal lifestyle.

Knowing your “Why” is key to reaching freedom.

Freedom from the other distractions and people who don’t respect you.

Your “Why not”

This section is vital to finding your “Why”.

It’s the exact opposite of your Why and only a few sentences long, but it will require a lot of thought. If you are unsure about your why, you most likely haven’t yet considered what would be keeping you from achieving them.

Why not, can really help you find your “Why” because it filters out things that are not beneficial to your goals and aspirations.

What are the top three reasons you will not achieve your purpose, if you keep going on like things are now?

Use specific details. They will be the perfect catalysts for change.

Don’t make them arbitrary or too broad: “My purpose is to live a healthy lifestyle” is pointless and unproductive because it’s so broad and vague.

It’s not purposeful because it lacks the details you need to find purpose: “My purpose is to be more fit and healthy, so I can spend quality time with my family for at least five hours every weekend, go surfing often, play video games with my son on Saturdays and exercise regularly” (you may have to tweak your purpose a little, but this is better, right?)

When you know your purpose and why not, you will be able to find “Why”.

It could be personal (like staying fit) or it could have to do with money (to buy a house).

Your Values

What is important to you? What type of work do you want to do? What are you willing to do?

Values are your personal code that guides your actions and reactions to all situations.

These are the core parameters that will guide you in figuring out how to design your work and life.

Values protect you
Your values keep you aligned towards your Why.

They are the foundation of your personal productivity.

Your values are the guidelines for living your “Why”

My core value is to value personal growth more than material possessions. I think about the impact on my growth before I commit to doing something.

I would rather do something that is important to me, but doesn’t pay much more than something “secure” and well paid, but without purpose.

What type of person and values you see work hand in hand

What person do you value the most?

If you value people who take action, make sure your actions are very consistent with your words.

Are you a morning person or a night person? Do you value results or your work environment?

You value honesty and transparency: be honest in what you say.

Be transparent of how things work or don’t work at your job.

In order to build a good relationship with yourself, you must start valuing yourself first.

Be gentle with yourself and value yourself the most.

You can value others later, when you value your own growth first.

Always value your potential more than what you already achieved so far. You have to know that you are capable of doing a lot more in life than you think now!

Often this is because people let their value for their past work or relationships to cloud what their value might be in the future.

Do you live your life based on your values or are they neglected?

You will always react in a way that’s consistent with how you view the world.

Why not choose personal growth as a value, so you can be the person you want to be?

The value I chose for myself has evolved, and it’s still changing, but it has been a constant value for me.

If you’re not living your values, this will become apparent in how you value your work.

If you value personal growth, your work must reflect that value.

Simplicity is something I value.

I don’t necessarily seek the easiest way out. Instead, I value actions that make the most of my time and energy.

I’m always looking for ways to decrease the number or complexity of the decisions I make every day.

Your Motivations

What motivates you to take action sooner than later?

You must understand what motivates you to work for yourself. What is it? Helping others? How can you solve such a huge problem?

Your motivations determine how you live your “Why” (and act in accordance with your values).

You need to learn how to harness their power to give you a sustainable source for energy to design your dream lifestyle.

Motivations have a way of sneaking up on you when you’re not paying attention.

When I work with my clients and deliver them results, my motivation is to help them grow their business, but also I feel a personal growth from that.

The great thing about growth is, it results in learning new things about myself. It also means learning how to manage my time.

Other motivations can be as simple as “I want more money”. This motivation, which at first might sound like an easy way out, is actually the root of why people work so hard.

You want more money in the way that you can invest more in your growth and lifestyle. You will find growth and freedom to be much more important than just a regular salary (which comes with responsibilities).

Some people are motivated by creating something new, some by making sure they don’t lose anything (loss aversion) or many other reasons (e.g., happiness)

Your Personal Productivity

What would you do for work? What has your heart always desired to do at work? What is your reason for working?

Answer these questions honestly.

All of us have been taught to work in ways that may not be natural to our individual abilities.

Many of us dislike working because we don’t think it makes sense.

My example is peak performance period. Work is usually between 6 AM and 10 AM each day.

I prefer to work on my own, but also collaborate with others occasionally.

My work should be judged on its quality, not how much time I spend at it.

To energize myself, I must spend at least one hour per day working out and have extra activities, such as walking or riding a bike.

I want to be able to choose how I spend my time.

You might guess that I am not cut out to work the 9-to-5. It could be that you are not either.

These are my personal productivity ingredients. It is not the same for everyone, but it is what I used to maximize my productivity.

Your personal productivity ingredients will likely be different from those of others.

If I had to try to make my work style fit everyone’s needs, I wouldn’t be as productive.

My most frustrating experience in my life was working outside my work requirements.

To be precise, I love to work but only on my terms.

Once I believed that being productive meant getting more done in a shorter time.

My productivity was based on my ability to manage my time better. My productivity depends on how I manage my limited resources.

My greatest boost in energy was the decision to work according to my needs.

While I might have 10 hours per day to work, I realize that I only have 3-4 hours to create high quality work.

It’s true, I work less now than I did when I was working as a dental technician or working on cruise ships, but I’m still far more productive.

That is because I learned about my personal productivity.

Find you personal productivity style and stick to it.

Output, personal satisfaction and impact that we have on others is what truly matters.

Learn How To Learn

You don’t have to stop learning new skills once you graduate from college. Learning is not limited to academic institutions.

If you want to be able to thrive in a dynamic economy, you will need to continue learning new skills.

Many people fear learning because of the way they were taught in school. We didn’t have the option.

I can’t recall ever being encouraged to find my own style of learning. I was taught by listening, reading books, and practicing the concepts in class.

I was shown how it worked.

I learned mainly by rote memorization.

Although I was raised to get good grades and be motivated, as an adult I realized that my natural motivation to learn is to try things and discover for myself.

What drives you to learn new things?

Perhaps you are a bit like me, and like to try new things. You might have a completely different motivation.

Knowledge is a building block to learn about yourself

Knowledge is a building block for growth.

The growth I experienced was personal even though it was a procedural knowledge growth.

Growth is growth, regardless of what caused it.

When growth occurs through learning, that growth was because of my motivation to learn new skills and knowledge. In this case growth led to mastery, which leads us to life purpose.

So, that path to more knowledge can be procedural or factual knowledge.

Factual knowledge in this case is the scientific or practical knowledge gained.

Procedural knowledge is the ability to apply the facts you have learned to new and different situations.

Breaking down information into easy parts is a way of learning it.

If you find yourself dreading to do something because it is hard, then you will recognize that feeling as a way of knowing to learn it.

You might want to know how stuff works and find out the facts. If you are motivated by practical knowledge, then you might have a natural skill at learning skills and applying them.

I learned a lot about myself by playing around with my personal productivity ingredients until I found what works best for me.

You might discover some interesting things about yourself as well, such as your own way of being productive

You might consider formal certification under the guidance of an instructor if you want to learn a new skill, or perhaps you prefer watching videos at your own pace on YouTube.

If you are interested in certification and want to become a life coach for example, then I can confidently recommend Coach Training EDU which is ICF-certified coach training. This was one of my clients and seeing the impact that John and his team are making just makes me proud.

But, you don’t have to choose the right method, as long as it is in keeping with your learning style and motivations.


Your habits are a reflection of how you use your time, money, and energy. Your habits are the sum of your lifestyle.

If you are serious about working for yourself, it is important to establish the right habits.

Start by assessing your current habits. Decide which ones you want to strengthen, change or eliminate as you transform your life.

Habits are the engine for lifestyle transformation.

Changes in your habits are key to weight loss, addiction recovery and debt relief. That’s all there is to it.

It can be difficult to change habits, but it can also make your life easier once they are established.

To help you design your life around your purpose, I suggest tracking these habits: How you spend money, your time, your energy, and your feelings.

These habits are all necessary for forming your lifestyle.

They work together to provide balance and happiness.

I track my habits so that I can hold myself accountable.

That way when I say, “I’m going to do it this time,” there is a record of me saying that, just in case I don’t follow through.

If you don’t follow through, it is a good indicator that you need to rethink your purpose.

How do you choose which habits to keep and which ones to change?

Ask yourself if the habit supports your life purpose. Keep doing it if it does, and stop doing it if it doesn’t. That’s how easy it is.

Becoming a successful entrepreneur is not easy, but it can be much easier if the lifestyle and habits support your life purpose.

Do you have to decide everything right away?

Not exactly.

If you are going to track two or three things for now, then do so. Then at some point in the future look back on the data to see how things changed. That’s usually enough to give you an idea of what else you need to track.

Your Emotional Intelligence

One school of thought believes that your emotional intelligence is more predictive of success than your rational intelligence (your IQ).

Emotional intelligence (EQ) refers to your ability to manage emotions.

It also includes how you interact with others, how you can empathize and how focused you are. These are all essential skills to ensure your self-employment lifestyle is sustainable.

Your emotional intelligence determines the quality of your life.

Emotional intelligence can help you to make better decisions in every facet of your life, including how you handle money and business growth.

I have noticed as I am developing a digital growth strategy for online business owners, I mostly use emotional intelligence. Analytical part is important, but managing emotions and being objective is the first step to creating a non-bias strategy that brings real long-term growth.

When people understand their own behaviors, then they are more likely to make good choices about how to spend time, energy and money.

Your emotional intelligence is an essential tool for living your dream lifestyle.

By becoming more aware of how you react to others, you can begin learning about your EQ.

This will help you to understand how others feel and how you can minimize your reactions.

Another area you should monitor is your ability to delay gratification. This will give you a better idea of how focused, cope with and maintain motivation.

Your ability to delay gratification will help you to decide when it is necessary to work and when it is time to take a break.

When you are aware of your emotions, then you can choose how to respond to them effectively.

It’s important to pay attention and spend the energy required for growth.

While some may be born with higher emotional intelligence than others, I believe that all people can improve their emotional intelligence.

In order to work on improving your EQ, you must first learn about your emotions and what triggers them.

Learn to be comfortable with the fact that you have emotions, so that you can make better decisions when they are triggered.

Your Personality

Your personality is your natural tendency to interact with the world and people.

Understanding your quirks will help you understand your personality and find the right people to compliment you.

If you’ve never had a personality test, it might be worth taking one.

There are many options available, but here are the top two.

Myers-Briggs’s assessment

This is the most commonly used and easily accessible standard.

Based on Myers-Briggs I am an INTJ (51%) and INFJ (49%) which means that as an INTJ my decision-making process is logical and disciplined.

I use facts, data and concrete evidence to make decisions. I have a strong sense of what is right and wrong. I tend to be objective in my assessments. I do not let my emotions rule me. I can be ruthless when the situation demands it.

But as an INFJ personality type I love connecting and interacting with people. This is the cornerstone of how INFJs spend their time.

INFJ personalities are people-focused and highly sensitive to other’s emotions. INFJs have a strong need for social validation. They take criticism personally, prefer consensus in decision-making and value harmony over conflict resolution.

So you can see that there are some contradictions because INTJ and INFJ personality types have differences, but definitely there’s some truth to both of them.

If you want to find out your type, then you can take the free test here.

Enneagram test

Personally, I think this assessment is more accurate than Myers-Briggs.

Enneagram’s personality assessment is a nine-pointed star that represents the nine different types of personalities.

Each personality type is represented in a unique position on the star.

There are three centers of intelligence: mind, body and spirit. Each center has three passions that determine how you respond to life’s situations. The points of the star illustrate where you have these passions or intelligence.

These three centers (mind, body and spirit) are in continual interaction with each other, they do not exist separately.

Based on your personality type, you will find that there are certain things you possess (or don’t) and certain ways to behave (good or bad) that will make you happy.

I am a type 5 based on an enneagram test which means that I am a person who is an information gatherer aka “Investigator”.

Being an investigator means that I’ll collect data and build mental models of how things work.

I utilize my intelligence to examine situations from different angles and to make sense out of chaos. Investigators are the best at seeing patterns and devising strategies for solving problems based on these models.

This is great test and if you want to find out your type, then you can take the free test here.

My philosophy regarding self-assessments is to use them as a guide in your self-awareness practice but not as a definitive interpretation of who and what you are. Take them with a grain.

Your Strengths and Abilities

We limit our abilities to what we can list on our resumes.

To design your ideal lifestyle, you need to look at your personal and professional capabilities.

Your abilities are your natural strengths, talents and marketable (hard) skills. I also consider people (soft), skills, life experiences, special projects, hobbies, and life skills.

For example, your hard skills could be designing websites, and your soft skills could be that you’re a good speaker or have great people (social) skills.

Document everything you are, know, can do, have done and had the experience of.

Just keep in mind that your core strengths and abilities are the ones that you can do consistently well.

If your job is to do a certain task, then you have to be good at it, or you’ll look bad on the job (especially if you’re a perfectionist like me).

Your Body

Your body is the vehicle that you live in. Focus on your overall wellness, not just fitness and nutrition.

The body is created to heal itself if it has the right fuel (food), nutrients, movement and rest.

You can’t be a high performer or have a great lifestyle with an unhealthy physical foundation.

Proper eating habits are crucial for mental and physical performance.

It’s not just about looking good, it’s also about feeling good and having more energy.

When you are physically fit, you can enjoy the finer things in life without excess anxiety or long-term health risks.

Learning about yourself and your body are intrinsically linked. You’ll be able to get to know yourself better by being in tune with your body.

Just think about it… if you have a shallow breath that usually means that you are not happy or you have some negative experience that you need to sort out.

When you are stressed or angry, you will likely have a stomach ache.

Get in touch with your body. Work out, push it beyond what it is used to and allow yourself to grow.

You will know that you are doing something good for your mind when your body responds positively.

But most importantly, you learn about yourself when working beyond your comfort zone.

Not only that physically you are becoming better, but your connection with your senses is getting better too.

What is your body telling you (your emotions and feelings) if you pay attention to your physical sensations?

Your Self-Confidence

To be honest, it takes a lot of self-confidence to abandon predetermined paths such as the 9-to-5 life to make your own.

Do not be deluded about your abilities because you haven’t taken the time to properly evaluate them.

However, you shouldn’t look for validation for every decision that you make.

It’s a delicate balance. It is about cultivating self-confidence. It is about being willing to try new things and learning from your failures.

Important to evaluate your self-confidence levels when things get tough.

What can you do, or who can you contact to help boost your confidence? What can you do to feel reassured?

Confidence helps you to know when to keep your hands off and when to go for it. Either way, it’s the job of your self-awareness to help you make better decisions.

This deserves an in-depth article on its own, but you can ask yourself:

  • Where do I have little confidence?
  • What can I do to build confidence?
  • What makes it easy to feel confident?

Everything That Holds You Back

It’s time for you to address your problems if you are looking to transform your life. They are all there. Fail to face your fears. Set yourself a challenge.

These are some things that could be holding you back, unknowingly.

  • Your fears
  • Your cravings
  • Negative things are your friends
  • Your desires
  • Your expectations
  • Your risk tolerance

Your fears and challenges are the most difficult things to deal with, but they can also be your biggest assets.

For example, fear of failure is a source of inspiration for me. I like setting my limits high (in every sense).

Sometimes I suffer from sleepless nights because I set hard goals for myself, but they’re necessary to become a better person.

Stop using the same excuses to validate your life, and instead, use them as a reason for change.

Let go of all your baggage. You can make space for the major changes you desire in your life. You are preventing yourself from doing what you always wanted!

Just make a clear distinction between Wants and Desires. Desires can be cravings, things that appeal to you. A want is something that you need badly enough to walk away from your job for it.

For example, if you wanted a new car or house more than anything else in the world, then walking away would be an easier decision.

However, if you desire a new car or house but can easily live without it, then it will be more difficult to make the decision.

Life experiences and emotions get in your way of making clear-headed decisions.

Learn More About Yourself: Extra

You can do many self-assessments to find out more about yourself.

However, these assessments should only serve as tools to improve upon your weaknesses.

If you don’t take action based on this information, then you’ll never learn how to overcome any weakness.

Here are a couple of extra practical things that you can do when it comes to learning about yourself.

Start a writing habit

Why do you think I am writing all these articles? It is to expand and learn more about myself.

I think I have a good idea of who I am now, but I keep learning and growing.

You can write in a journal, blog, or if you want to publish it somewhere online.

If you’re shy about sharing your writing with the world but don’t mind people can view your work anonymously as an option.

However, if you go about it, I would recommend that you do something to find out more about yourself and learn from it.

Some people kept old-fashioned, written journals. Others created lists, notes on their phones to track their thoughts and keep them accountable.

It didn’t matter how they wrote it. It didn’t matter what they wrote or how they did it.

Have an effective learning strategy

Effective learning starts with personal learning style. So first, you need to know what your style is and how you can learn more effectively.

It is great to have a solid development of study skills because it prepares you for training later on in life.

Initial learning will set you up for the future.

Some of the most common personal learning styles:

  • Visual learners – learn more effectively through images, pictures, and graphics.
  • Verbal learners – learn more effectively through words, spoken word, narratives.
  • Aural learners – learn better by listening to things and music.
  • Physical learners – learn best with a hands-on, physical approach.
  • Kinesthetic learners – learn by doing and manipulating objects.

Learning is a continual process of becoming aware of the internal workings in your mind and emotions. It doesn’t just stop when you finish school.

As an adult, you are constantly learning from the world around you.

You can improve learning strategies by reading, writing articles and books, and talking to people about your learning topics.

As you continue learning new things and improve study skills, there are a few methods that will improve the process even more:

  • Learn to read more efficiently – it is true that anything worth learning is worth reading twice. You should teach yourself how to expand and comprehend information faster. Understand concepts and skills much faster than before.
  • Apply what you learned – by doing this, you will help your brain process a lot of info without having to read it. Learning content and applying it is the key.
  • Repeat and review – practice makes perfect. Even if you don’t feel like reviewing what you’ve already learned, feeling stupid might motivate you to continue studying or learning something new.

Developing these skills will definitely help make the whole experience more effective than before.

It’s a matter of understanding how your brain works and learning from the past.

Slow down

Begin to monitor your emotions. Pay attention to your most positive and least favorable feelings every day.

To discover new opportunities in your life, look for patterns. What effect do particular events have on your emotions?

I know it seems like a simple idea, but I’ve seen the most positive changes in people when they learn to savor and enjoy their moments. They begin to appreciate life more.

They are able to deal with negative emotions better. Not everyone is good at dealing with problems.

The skill to cope with difficulties is learned.

Be a student of your own life.

How to start thinking for yourself

You can’t know anything just by listening to someone and believing everything they say. You need to think for yourself.

The most important thing is for you to learn how you want to progress in life, or even change things that do not please you.

Here are a few essentials of thinking correctly:

See the world as it really is. Being “positive” all the time is not how you get anywhere in life.

Constantly be aware of what you’ve done right and wrong, as well as feelings. The most important thing is to stop in time and realize there’s always something that can be done better or improved upon.

Today, think about any problems that occurred in your life.

Ask yourself these thoughtful questions:

  • How did I manage to solve this problem?
  • What else could I have done?
  • In what way would it be better next time?
  • What mistakes do you make most often, and why do they happen so often?

You should find out the root of the problem, possibly considering different options for change.

There is one common error that most people are guilty of: not realizing their own mistakes.

Better results will follow if you examine your successes and failures in comparison with each other.

Getting better at something means to learn from both positive and negative experiences.

Be aware, as well as optimistic – even if it’s just a small portion of hope. It may help you start up and continue on your path to change!

It’s really easy to give in to the negative emotions that sometimes arise within you.

Remember: it is possible to control your mind regardless of how it feels.

Your daily life is a result of what you’ve learned in the past.

Change the way you respond to negative emotions and thoughts.

Don’t avoid them as a matter of habit, but be sure to use them positively, instead.

Train yourself to think more than just how things are, but how they could become better or worse.

The most important thing is to be a positive person, despite the circumstances.

Always remember that you should never allow your future to become damaged by negative experiences.

Questions on How to Learn About Yourself

How can you use conflict to learn about yourself and others?

Conflict is a natural part of life. It’s how we grow, change, and develop as people.

Conflict also has the potential to be destructive if it isn’t handled properly or resolved in an effective way.

Conflict can help you learn about yourself and others because when you’re faced with situations where you feel threatened or challenged, you’ll likely react differently than usual.

This reaction allows you to see aspects of yourself that you might otherwise overlook.

When you face challenges head-on, you gain new insights into who you are and what makes you tick. Here are some ways to handle conflicts effectively:

  1. Be honest with yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, admit it. Then work hard to improve those areas. You won’t need to hide anything forever; eventually, you’ll come around to liking yourself again.
  2. Take responsibility for your actions. When someone criticizes you, take ownership of your behavior. Admit when you made a mistake, apologize sincerely, and ask for forgiveness. This shows respect for others and demonstrates maturity.
  3. Focus on solutions rather than blame. Blame only serves to hurt another person. Instead, focus on finding mutually acceptable solutions. 4) Avoid being defensive. Defensiveness creates distance between two parties involved in a dispute. The best solution is usually found through compromise.
  4. Listen carefully before responding. Make sure you understand exactly what was said before deciding whether or not to reply.
  5. Keep calm. Anger clouds judgment and leads to poor decisions. Stay cool headed during disagreements.
  6. Look beyond surface issues. Try to identify underlying causes of problems. For example, if you have trouble getting along with certain family members, try talking to them one at a time. Ask questions such as “What do I say or do that bothers you?”
  7. Use humor. Humor helps defuse tense situations. Find out what jokes make other people laugh, so you know which ones will get you laughs too.
  8. Practice patience. Sometimes, even though you want to argue back, you must wait until later to express yourself.

How to learn about myself and have life goals?

When you know a bit about yourself, you’ll notice that some things are more important to you than others and that will guide you to set your life goals.

For instance, if you enjoy spending time outdoors, you may decide to spend most of your free time hiking, camping, fishing, etc.

On the other hand, if you prefer staying inside watching movies, reading books, playing video games, etc., you could choose to pursue these activities instead.

If you’d like to travel but haven’t done much traveling yet, consider taking a trip somewhere exotic. Set small life goals or write a bucket list.

Once you’ve accomplished each goal, add another item to your list. Eventually, you will build a life full of personally exciting activities.

If you think you can’t afford to go anywhere right now or don’t have time, start by making smaller changes first.

Whatever works for you, just don’t sabotage yourself.

How to learn about yourself when you don’t trust yourself?

When you don’t trust yourself it is usually a sign that you just haven’t tried enough things to see your hidden potential.

You might be afraid to fail because you’re worried about how bad failure would feel. Or maybe you fear rejection from friends or family who already seem disappointed in you.

It’s okay to admit that sometimes we all doubt ourselves.

Don’t let negative thoughts control you. If you find yourself thinking negatively, stop immediately!

It doesn’t matter why you’re having doubts – they aren’t true. They’re simply an excuse for inaction.

The more action you take the more you will trust yourself and also learn about yourself as well at the same time.

How do you learn to be yourself?

I think it’s a very important question.

And I’m going to tell you how I learned about myself, and what I’ve done with that knowledge in my life.

So let me start by saying this: You are not your thoughts.

You’re not the things that come into your mind.

You are more than those things.

Your body is more than those things. Your emotions are more than those things, and your spirit is more than all of these things combined.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting…

Because our minds create stories about everything around us. And those stories become part of our identity. So, if you believe something untrue about yourself, you begin to act like someone else.

That person isn’t really you. That person has no connection to reality. But he/she does exist within you.

This is called projection. Projection means believing something about yourself without any evidence whatsoever.

Projecting onto people is one way we try to make sense out of chaos. We project onto them so we can understand their behavior better.

But projecting onto people only makes sense if you know exactly what kind of person you want to be. Otherwise, you’ll end up being somebody different every day.

In fact, there are many ways to get confused about who you are.

For example, you can confuse yourself with your job title. You may even forget which version of yourself you actually are.

There are lots of versions of you. Some good, others less-than-good but the thing is certain: All of them are real.

They’re all parts of you. Each one plays its own role in creating your experience.

For instance, some days you wake up feeling happy and motivated. Other times you wake up grumpy and tired. Sometimes you’re confident and other times insecure.

Some days you’re creative and imaginative; other days you’re logical and analytical.

There are always multiple sides to every story.

The trick is learning to recognize which side of you is speaking and allow yourself to be without any pretending.


All in all , learning about yourself is one of the most important steps towards living a meaningful life.

If you’ve been struggling to figure out your strengths, values ​​and weaknesses, the best way to find them is by asking questions and observing yourself.

The answers and realizations may surprise you and personally learning about myself has helped me become a happier person.

My hope is that this article can also help you understand why you struggle to learn about yourself and how you can better understand yourself.

Marko Matijasevic

Marko is performance-based growth strategist, focusing on business growth while maintaining a strong emphasis on authenticity in every individual he works with.